The "Bryanismo" Newsletter

Tonight, Zack watched "2001: A Space Odyssey" for the first time and....he liked it! He even wants to watch it again! I am so proud of my little man. It took me a few viewings to really enjoy that movie.

So he is now familiar with "Star Wars", "Transformers", "Robotech", and "2001: A Space Odyssey". He's still way too young for "Alien", but maybe "Contact" will be the next goal. Or maybe "Wrath Of Khan".

Yesterday, I jokingly mentioned in my Facebook the three ways that I dealt with customers, which hearkened back to the Simpsons episode "Realty Bites" where Marge takes a job with a Real Estate company, only to find that she doesn't have the moral laxity to really sell. When she does actually make a sale, Ol' Gil asks her how she did it. Did she use the old Buff-n-Bluff, the Hail Murray, the Susquehanna Shuffle? As I have a background in sales and customer service, I've always wondered what those sales techniques entailed. An extensive search of the web turned up nothing, so I've decided to invent meanings for these techniques:

The Old Buff-n-Bluff: This is a classic technique used extensively in car sales. You extol all the positive qualities of your product, then "refuse" to sell your product to the unwitting customer because of some negative flaw in the customer that is meant to ellicit a "that's not true! I don't have that negative quality! That product really is for me!".
Example: This Ferrari has tons of horse power, a really sexy look, and women will flock to you. Oh, but you're not interested in this car. You seem more like an 'economy car' kind of guy.

The Hail Murray: A very dangerous sales technique, and one that could backfire if not delivered properly, where you are literally telling the customer that you are trying to sell something. The intent is to make yourself seem sincere to the customer by openly acknowledging that you are a salesman, and that you are plainly trying to sell them a product.
Example: Look, I'm going to put it all out on the table and be completely honest. I would love to sell you this phone to make my quota this month. What can I do to make that happen?

The Susquehanna Shuffle: A verbal "dance" that can last a very long time and requires strong social skills and knowledge of a great many subjects, but is meant to create a level of comfort for the customer. You as the salesman seemingly talk with the customer about anything but the actual product, but you are also skillfully peppering the conversation with positive attributes about the product. Eventually the goal is for the customer to feel like you are their "friend" and they will then feel comfortable asking to buy the product from you.
Example: Can you believe that basketball game last night? The Lakers were right there with the three point shots. The Denver Nuggets got seriously trounced. Can you imagine how that game would have looked on one of these 62 inch HDTVs? What an incredible game. I used to play a little basketball in college, but that was a while ago. Now I spend way to much time in front of my TV watching re-runs of LOST. By the way, did you know there are a ton of easter eggs in each LOST episode that only be seen on a really good big screen HDTV? No, really, it's true! For example...

You know, it's been pretty hectic at work, and I haven't had much to say...

OK, none of that is true. The truth is that Facebook has made me lazy. It's just too damned easy to write a few lines about my current status, and maybe post the occasional article I find interesting. I'm surprised at how little needs to be done to communicate what is going on with me, and what I am interested in.

The other grab is that, sad as it sounds, I seem to reach a much larger audience there than I do in LJ. And if there is one thing I crave, it's a large audience.

But being on Facebook so much isn't right. I know this. I need to write more. I need to write meaningful things. It's the only thing that will really endure longer than I will. It's also good for the brain.

So, with that being said, I'm going to relate to you something that I've been wanted to share for a while, before I lose all recollection of my past. I want to share with you my history with the PC.

As some of you may know, my first real "Personal Computer" was the Tandy TRS-80 Color Computer (Otherwise known as the Trash-80 CoCo). This was back in the mid 80s, when personal computer made their first entrance into the affordable market. My folks saw a pretty good deal on the CoCo at Radioshack, and after I made the case that I could learn so much from it, they relented and bought the computer along with a couple of games. The games were "Madness and The Minotaur" and "Disney's Into The Black Hole". The computer had no operating system and no hard drive. Both games had to be loaded into the computer's 32K memory using a cassette tape drive (The Black Hole Game took close to an hour to load) and the BASIC programming language which was hard-coded into the BIOS. The CoCo came with a really big manual that showed you how to operate the computer with BASIC, and also how to code simple programs.

I played around with this for a few months, and then my friend from down the street decided to one-up me and convinced his folks to get a Commodore 64. While not an amazing machine by today's standards, it was levels ahead of the CoCo I owned. It came with a 5 1/4 floppy disk drive, a real operating system you could load into memory called GeOS (again, no hard drive), and the game possibilities were orders of magnitude greater than the CoCo. They included an Apache helicopter game, a Vegas casino game, and a magical creature labyrinth game. I was pretty much over at his house all the time playing the games with him and a few other guys. I was so green with envy. Being kids, neither of us really noticed or cared much about the other things the computer could do, especially with that GeOS operating system and it's primitive graphical user interface (GUI), office productivity suite, and modem.

I one-uped him eventually by buying the NES. He one-uped me with a Sega Genesis. I one-uped him with the SNES. He one-uped me by buying one of the original black-and-white Macs.

By this time is was the very early 90s and the computer market had changed dramatically since the Commodore 64 and the CoCo. The Mac my friend got was proof of how "sophisticated" they had become. There was a hard drive. There was an pretty decent GUI. There was word processing with all kinds interesting possibilities that no electronic typewriter could even approximate (my folks owned a Brother Electronic Typewriter during the time). There was a modem that, thanks to the movie "Wargames", had convinced me that it could hack into online systems kids shouldn't have access to, like the school's non-existent computerized grade records system. Even more important for us, of course, were the games, and my friend was playing a ton of them on the Mac.

I decided to one-up him again. I convinced my parents that I needed a computer, again. My folks were reluctant at first. They had just bought me a computer a few years ago (in my kid brain it was centuries), and that had been gathering dust in the garage. Why buy a new computer? I needed to show them first hand how having a modern computer would "completely change their lives".

That opportunity came when, not a few blocks from my house, a new fangled store opened up that quickly put the local stationeer shopkeeper out of business. That store was Office Depot. More importantly, they had computers out on display, and ready to be played with. Only one catch, though. They weren't Macs, which at the time was what I thought I really wanted. What they had were Packard Bell IBM-PC compatible i386 computers with MS-DOS, Windows 3.0 and a color monitor. I played around with the i386s on display, and after a while I was realized that the i386 had it's advantages and disadvantages over the Mac, but it one thing it did have in its favor was that I could convince my parents to buy one with a direct demonstration. I was able to do this the next time they went to Office Depot to buy some office supplies. I showed them the possibilities of making their business-related activities much more efficient, the faxing capabilities, how easy it was to use, and how inexpensive it really was (only $1000!). They were convinced, and this was where the technology schism between my friend and I occurred, and to a larger extent this is where I first developed my disdain for all things Mac. I quickly saw how much more was out there for IBM-compatible PCs in terms of software and peripherals. I was also able to, for the first time, "troubleshoot" and upgrade my own computer either through MS-DOS or by actually opening the computer up and replacing parts. My friend was not able to do either of those things. Thanks to the incredibly thick User Manuals that Packard Bell included, I was able to understand a great many things about what my computer could do, including connect to the Prodigy service and a few primitive BBS services using a "powerful" 14.4K modem. It was during this time that I got hooked on SimEarth.

Sadly, my new found knowledge also gave me a better understanding of what my computer could not do. After a couple of years, it was really showing it's age. Also, some of the newer games I bought for my computer ran pretty slow, and I realized that I needed a "CD-ROM", as programs started becoming multi-disk affairs.

And so, we got an i486 computer with Windows 3.11, a CD-ROM, a larger hard drive, and a 28K modem. I had been using the Prodigy service for a while, but didn't really find much of anything interesting on it. The really interesting stuff was in the BBSs, where you could find games you could play, message boards, and even the occasional nudie pic (really horrible quality by today's standards). Even better, my games played really well on this new system, and I was happy.

For a while.

In 1995, after much hoopla, Windows 95 was introduced. I quickly bought a copy and installed it on my PC, only to find that, yes, it was really slow on my machine. So, I went and bought RAM for my computer, and that seemed to help a little. I also upgraded my modem to a 32K (the 56Ks were out, but kind of expensive for my budget), and started dabbling with AOL. During this time, they were selling their service "per hour" and their software ran pretty slow on my machine, so I wasn't really spending any meaningful time on it. I was really into the BBSs and I was pleasantly surprised that the nudie pictures were increasing in resolution and were more...diversified. I was introduced to the World Wide Web through AOL, however, but it was still in its infancy, and there really wasn't all that much there that I was interested in. it was during this time that I got hooked on the "SimCity" series.

As is the way with technology, eventually the i486 really began to show its age. It was now 1996, and my folks decided, per my suggestion, that their hair styling business might benefit from having a computer with a database and spreadsheet on premises. They agreed. Naturally, there would be a need to buy a new computer for the house. And so, once again, a new computer was purchased for the house. It was Pentium computer from Compaq, CD-ROM, 56K modem, Windows 95, lots of hard drive space, and the latest AOL software that ran pretty well. There was also alot more to do on AOL, and the World Wide Web was also exploding with more things to look at. It was also during this time that I really started to have an online presence. I started frequenting chats hosted by AOL, and I got a real email address, though I really didn't do much of anything with it.

By 1997, I had chosen "Phaydor" as my screen name for AOL. It was a name I made up one day out of the blue. I liked it, and it became how I would be know for quite some time until it was supplanted by "JustPlainBryan" in 2002. In 97, the family had 2 computers in its inventory. One was the aging 486 computer at the business. The other was the Pentium Computer at home, which not surprisingly was also showing its age. One day, my dad brought home a "laptop" out of the blue. Apparently someone owed him money, and he was given the laptop in lieu of payment. He asked me if it was any good. I played with it, and it had a much faster processor than the Pentium, had a 56K modem, lots of RAM, and pretty decent hard drive. I told my dad that it was pretty good. He then gave it to me as a birthday gift in advance, which I gratefully accepted. Now I could use the computer in the privacy of my own bedroom! I got more heavily involved in chat, especially after a hard breakup with a girl that year. I became involved with my first online community, called Digital City LA. They were a fun bunch, and they did meet ups every now and then which took up the new found free time I suddenly had. It was through these meet ups that I eventually met my wife.

In time, I installed Windows 98, and then Windows ME (bad decision) onto that laptop. By that time, though, the laptop was pretty old by computer standards, so when Jen and I moved into our present house in 2001, we got a used computer from a friend with Windows 2000 installed. It was a 1 Gigahertz monster with 512 Megs or RAM and a 10 Gig hard drive. That worked for a couple of years, during which time my online presence increased even more thanks to a DSL line we got installed in the house. One day a few years later, the computer simply decided to stop working. So Jen and I decided to make the trek to the local Frys, and we got ourselves a pretty decent Compaq Presario with Windows XP and a CD-RW for a killer price. We bought this new computer not because we wanted to, but because we needed to. The computer had become so ingrained in our daily lives that to do without was something we didn't want to contemplate. It was during this time that I set up my first wireless network at home.

When I started working for the company I work for, it became obvious that I would need to get a laptop. It looked like I would be expected to travel, and having a laptop would allow me to stay in touch with home, and to be more productive for the company on the road. So I went and got me a cheapy laptop with Windows XP and an 80 Gig hard drive. I still have this laptop, and it has proven very useful over the years, and while it is definitely showing it's age, it still does the things I really need it to do very well.

After a few years, the XP machine crapped out on us. Jen was despondent because alot of our lives were in that computer, included pictures, important documents, and the like. Plus, she needed the internet to access our finances, and, finally, both her and I had many friends we wanted to keep in touch with online. So, being the good husband I am, I went out and bought her a new computer. It had Windows Vista on it, 300 Gigs of hard drive space, and really fast processor. I was eventually able to retrieve the info from the old XP machine, and I was even able to repair it, and bring it back to fully functional operation. It currently resides right next to the kitchen. Now we owned three machines.

Two more were given to us over the years, but one is gathering dust in the closet (an old Dell XPS 500 that Jen's mom used to own) and a custom built machine originally used in my dad's warehouse that is 7 years old now. It broke down on him, and I opted to take it to see if I could repair it, when eventually I was able to. It's not a very good machine, though, and I currently use it only to test out new operating systems.

It's amazing how, in the span of 24 years, the PC I've owned have evolved from a glorified programmable calculator with a few games to a necessary part of my life. I can't imagine what computers will look like 24 years from now, but I have no doubts they will continue to become an even more integral part of my life.

Well, it is now "official"! As of this morning, "§" is now part of UrbanDictionary and the general lexicon, after a thorough review and investigation by the UrbanDictionary editors.§

Such an honor!§

In light of the inability for written internet media to properly convey sarcasm for comedic purposes, I propose using the section punctuation mark (§) as the punctuation mark to denote sarcasm going forward (You can put this into your type by pressing Alt+0167).

Example: "Oh yeah, that's such a good idea.§".

What do you think?

I wanted for Wolverine to be awesome so I could go watch it this weekend. I really did.

Unfortunately, the new Wolverine movie is getting a 38% fresh rating on Rottentomatoes.com. For those of you living in cave, Rottentomatoes is a unique movie rating site in that it take reviews from many different critics and creates an percentage rating based off that. I think this makes for a pretty accurate way of gauging whether you should watch the movie in theaters or not.

38% fresh for the Wolverine movie means that only 38 percent from 128 critics who reviewed Wolverine liked it. Meaning 80 critics out of 128 hated it, which is a pretty good indicator that the movie is really bad. What does this mean to you? It means that, if you still go to watch this movie this weekend, you are in small part sending a message to these production studios that it is OK to keep making bad movies as long as the marketing campaigns for these movies is strong.

Is that really the message you want to send? Do you really want to spend 10 of your hard earned dollars to watch a movie that has a 62 percent chancing of sucking, especially in this economy and with the chance you could get the H1N1 flu in the movie theater? Wouldn't you rather wait for it to come out on DVD, or better yet cable?

I'm begging all of you considering to watch Wolverine this weekend to please reconsider! You think it's only a small thing you do by not going, but if enough people eventually heed the call, maybe we all can make a difference! Please, I'm begging you!

OK, I am willing to admit that maybe I was wrong about this swine flu pandemic being a "passing scare".

I'm not in favor of torture. Not because it's morally wrong, but because you very seldom get useful or correct information. Any method that involves creating discomfort in a person as a means of gathering information is unreliable at best.

No, what needs to be done is to figure out methods to extract information from a person against their will efficiently either through chemical means, or by researching ways to physically tap into the mind (through electrodes placed directly on the brain) to extract correct information. We've been able to capture images of what a cat sees, so we can't be too far off from developing this technology.

And I would be completely in favor of that as replacement for torture.

Drunk drunk drunk drunk drunk.....

I read online the symptoms of the nefariously named "Swine Flu" (because "H1N1 Flu" just isn't scary enough to capture the popular imagination). Symptoms include fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, chills and fatigue.

Yup, that's right. Just like any other flu.

I'm calling shenanigans on the media and the World Health Organization for hyping this story to scare people into fear-consuming to try and stimulate a depressed global economy (it's been proven that people tend to buy more "things" when scared).

Seriously, how many people have died globally? 150? 200? in a population of 6 billion? Bah! This is no Black Death, people!

Here is a link to an interview with the band that played in the intro to the last episode. They apparently specialize in the "Narco-ballad" which is, as you might guess, a romanticized story involving drug related peoples and recounted in song form. The translation of the song during the Breaking Bad intro didn't do it justice. You have to know Spanish to get just how awesome it really was!

I've got lots of beer in the fridge, shrimp for the grill this afternoon, and a pool. I don't suppose any of the local folk in my area would be interested in visiting this afternoon, would they? :)

OK, let's get something out of the way. I don't like Chavez. I do think that he is very slowly eroding freedoms from the Venezuelan people. I also think that, if left unchecked, he could become a ruthless dictator and a detriment to the entire continent.

That being said, it really warms my heart to see this picture, but not for the reasons you might think. Up until now, Chavez has been using the US, and specifically the US president, as the scapegoat for all that is bad and evil in the Latin American world. The previous administrations stance of cold indifference only served to reinforce this image. So what does Obama do? He goes to the Latin American conference and completely destroys that perception, and removes the US scapegoat.

I know there are one or two of you who may grumble about Obama "cozying" up with communists and would-be dictators, but you know what? You may not see it, but we've needed more "friends" down there for some time now. You don't see just how much our good standing in Latin America is necessary for so many things we take for granted. Latin America is a huge growing market for our goods and services, and Latin American imports purvey our society in so many ways. Food, oil, natural resources, pharmaceuticals, The list goes on. Latin America is the reason you can get bananas and blackberries at the grocery store in January.

Hopefully, the gestures of the administration now serve as a catalyst for greater sympathy and admiration in Latin America for the US agenda, and in the long run create more jobs and more cooperation in destroying the drug cartels.

You know, I just realized today that alot of the free websites I frequently use and read are ad-supported. But, fortunately, not a single one of those ads offends my eyes. Thank you, Firefox Ad Blocker!

This has not been a very happy tax day, so here's a bit of good news for me.

My very first business plan is finished. I'm sure it needs some polishing, but it is completed. The next step now is to circulate it to a few trusted business professionals for their feedback.

If you ever find yourself as ruler or despot of a country, remember that disenfranchising any portion of a population for silly reasons means your economy isn't running as efficiently as it could be, and you hurt the amount of tax revenue you receive every year.

That right there should be justification enough to provide equal rights for all.

I overheard the following exchange just now while Zack was watching "Clone Wars" on Cartoon Network:

"Here Padme, just hold my lightsaber."

"No, Anakin, I don't want..."

"Just hold it for a little bit."

"No, I don't...wow. It's so...heavy."

"It's yours."


!!!!!

Good thing Zack won't find any hidden messages in that for a good long while!

As is my habit, I went home for lunch today. During lunch, I had History International on, where they were showing a riveting documentary on the circus trains of the late 19th century (no, really! It was pretty interesting!). There was a commercial that came on during the break touting all the many places you can use those Tree Air Fresheners, including inside your house.

I'm sorry, but if you have even one of these hanging in your house when I visit, I will instantly think you're trying to hide a decomposing corpse. So, just do what normal people do, get a Glade Plug In for your house, leave the Tree in the car, and salt your corpses.

I found this article on the BaconCamp that was recently held in San Francisco. I love bacon and all, but I would have to say you've got a bit of a problem if you're collecting "bacon art" for your walls, sleeping on "bacon" pillows, and eating "bacones" more than once a year.

I do have to admit, though. I really want to try a bacone.